On my deathbed, surrounded by loved ones, a wee lass with red curls will wiggle through the gathering to be by my side.
Eyes wide she’ll ask, “Grandmother, what should we know before you go?”
“I’m glad you asked. I’ve lived a long life and have seen and done many things. Some good and some not so good, but I have only one regret.”
The room will be silent; everyone leaning forward anxiously awaiting my words of wisdom.
“Wait. What was I saying?” I’ll mumble after dozing off because the room will be too damn warm with all those bodies hovering over me.
“You were telling us your only regret.”
“Ah yes, now I remember. Listen so you may learn from my mistake. I only regret storing my prescription strength clinical antiperspirant near the blasted Biofreeze. That shit’s great for sore muscles, but menthol’s a bitch on the pits!”
True story from this morning. My pits are minty fresh.