The predicament has led to strife within the household. So much so, our family motto changed.
Prior to the potty problem, our family’s slogan was “Fructo cognoscitur arbor.”
Translation: A tree is recognized by its fruit. Meaning: You’re just like your mom or dad.
It was often spoken in hushed tones with a touch of sarcasm. And just between you and me, I was beginning to question its true intention.
But due to out toilet trouble, our family’s new motto is “Ut de stercore neque vas.”
Translation: Shit or get off the pot.
I shall have it stitched in cocoa-colored thread onto our official coat of arms.
Now, it technically means, “As of manure or weapon,” according to Google’s language translator, but tomato, tomahto.
Farewell, dawdling days spent with my nose two feet from a speckled wall, sitting and smelling stench while perusing the latest magazines from the library’s castoff box.
Now, time is of the essence because there are long lines and dramatic wails from wee lasses announcing, “I gotta go right now. I’m not joking. It’s coming out!”
But to everything there is indeed at least one positive side, and this situation has fiber.
Our family’s doodie dilemma has prompted a need for speed. As in Metamucil Orange Smooth—a great way to add fiber to your day.
I’m now at the age where I get a little excited to read about the benefits of psyllium fiber and discuss it with, well, anyone who’ll listen or read this.
Where am I going with this fiber talk?
Let me get to my point.
Fiber gets shit done. And anything that helps push it out, push it out, way out in a tough “situation” is a good thing.
This brings me to NaNoWriMo.
Those of who don’t speak fluent Acronym are probably asking, “What’s NaNoWriMo?
Allow your resident nerd to explain:
National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to creative writing.
On November 1, participants begin working towards the goal of writing a 50,000-word novel by 11:59 PM on November 30.
So basically NaNoWriMo is a fiber supplement for aspiring authors. And starting tomorrow, November 1, I’m taking a heaping scoop of it. And lucky me, I’ve heard NaNo mixes well with coffee.
I’ve wanted to write a novel for awhile and until now I’ve managed to make up enough excuses to avoid starting anything. But NaNoWriMo is the fiber push I need to begin.
My battle cry “Shit or get off the pot!” shall propel me into writing victory. Or give me a severe case of dehydration.
I’ll keep you updated about the state of the book and my sanity and maybe post little sections here or on my Facebook page.
As always, thanks for reading.